GIBBERISH TALK-"LOST/CONFUSED!!"

Hold your breath… exams are over, and if all goes as planned( touchwood!!), the world would soon have one more "smile architect" to its list.. This is a significant moment, a moment I have dreamt of since my kindergarten days- the day has reached, when I can officially make rockets and boats out of my books, and care less! ( an activity that only our examiners had the right to do, to our answer papers).. And thus the moment came, and passed.. Void..that's what I felt.. A huge void has crept into me..what am I supposed to do now??? In films, I should have been throwing my books to the ceiling, doing a dumb/smart step(depending on whether u are a mamooty or lal fan) and jumping all over the campus with a peppy number, with my friends copying my steps and giving a good backup..but alas, my life is not so filmy.. And so, I'm still left with the question, what the hell am I supposed to do?? My life for the last four years has been following the same routine of getting up at 7& reaching college at 8..though mechanical, there was a reason to wake up every morning..a whole batch would be there for me..and now I'm a temporary outcaste from my college..my presence in the college would raise a lot of eyebrows and questions -" what's he doing here now?","Isn't his exams over? ", to the extent that others would even suspect my coming to college as an attempt to butter up my teachers..So, you need a reason to come to the college, even if I felt it as my second home..and it is that reason that is lacking now..and thus, the "void".. I am not sure, how many of my batch mates feel the same..I might be jumping into conclusions, but I don’t think, many of them share this sentiment..most were excited by the fact that they could finally go to their homes, without cutting classes.. And this irritated me a lot, me being a day scholar, going to home was the last thing I wanted to do..but deep inside, I'm sure, they'll also miss the fun of college once they reach home..after all, the bonds that we have created are too strong..
This is the most vulnerable period in my life.. Internship(stipend!!), finally is so near..I have bragged to many what I would gift them, once I get my stipend..besides this added pressure, people also expect me to become a totally new person..suddenly, I have been upgraded to a new level, my opinions have become more valuable..people finally have begun to pay interest in what I have to say about our recent cricket loss(a sure sign of recognition in India!!)

Okay, I knew the day would come when I had to say good bye to my books, but now that the moment has passed, I miss you, dear books..On a bright note, the next one year in college would be a relief.. No exams..no appointments to be kept..no vivas..no van fees (something that we have been paying all these years, except that the van actually does not exist!) .So, I am to become a "staff" of the college (a fact proved by the fact that we are now part of the staff cricket/football team in the college!!).
The fact is, I'm lost/confused..and I'm sorry to spread this confusion to your already existing "breathless" confusion..now you can leave your breath..thank you for your cooperation.. Goodnight all!!..