Definition of Gibberish on the Web :The common theme in gibberish statements is a lack of literal sense, which can also be described as a presence of nonsense...
Ha, so thats what this blog is about..incoherent thoughts put together in an orderly manner.. hope u like it..looking forward to ur comments..
Disclaimer: The Protagonist in this work is not the Author, who has a real job and is far from being unemployed . He is also happily married (so there!) :) ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I was just returning from B'lore, after yet another farcical job hunting missions. As I waited for my bus at the terminal, I heard two middle-aged Kannadika men talking. Initially they spoke in Kannada, but soon , switched onto English. This is when my ear began picking some of the lovely things they were saying about doing business in Kerala. Well, basically they said Kerala sucked. It was risky to invest there, and besides tourism, everything else was in a down spiral.
Maybe my current state of being overly emotional due to lack of employment, which by the way determined if I was worthy of being considered a human, may have clouded my judgement, but instinctively I turned to the men discussing and said, " I'm mightily sorry, but i do not think so."
The men stopped their discussion and looked at me.
"What you were saying about Kerala is far from the truth.", I continued.
Suddenly, one of them quipped,"Were we talking to you?"
"No sir, but i felt your opinion was wrong", I replied.
"We are entitled to have our opinion", he retorted.
"And me too..", i continued, pretty sure that was a lame reply by me.
A staring contest continued between us for 33 seconds.
Suddenly, the less silent among the two broke into a beaming smile.
"We need more of such youngsters. Really our firm could use them", he said.
"Of course ", the other man replied, smiling.
" Taking a stand and sticking by it, that is exactly what our polished law graduates lack. Raw passion.", they discussed among them.
I stood there mutely, listening to all this.
One of them turned to me and said, " So,would you like to take up a job offer at our....."
"Fuck U" , I said cutting his sentence abruptly, and I walked away.
My pride was saved. Even if i had to remain jobless and die of hunger, it din't matter. I'm a Mallu and pride is all that i got.
Ps: In hind sight, that probably was the shortest job interview i ever attended.
Of all the possibilities, being
stuck in an A.C compartment(Jan Shatbdi,Sitting Chair car,Indian Railways) with your over achieving newlywed wife, who is so
serious about the exam that even our honeymoon got pushed, is indeed a
traumatic situation. Both of us have the same exam, but i wouldn’t mind some..well..
you know… Instead, I end up in this
typical train journey , with the compartment thermostat as consistent as the
Indian middle order. In between my delirious sleep (i tend to sleep the moment
the train rumbles), the one question that had been on my mind since I booked my
ticket, gets answered. A large guy, typical Mallu male, pot bellied and mustached,
drops himself next to my seat. Great! My travel just got cozier- jammed between
my cramming-before-exam wife and a diametrically endowed man not to mention the
added luxuries offered by the Indian Railways.
{Disclaimer 1: My wife is not fat.
Yes, she wears fashionable jewelry, but is by no means: Fat Disclaimer 2: I am.}
I have sacrificed a lot for this journey. I have
risked myself yet another Entrance Exam, willing to receive its blow, again. My
wife would go berserk( and that's lightly putting it) if I even dared to
suggest we skip it for a trip, so it’s safe to say that I was coerced to face
this bully(entrance exam) again. I also had to sacrifice a UTD vs Liverpool
match. Big deal?? Ask your mom to cook dinner during her favorite serial time.
Multiply it by the emotion my wife would undergo when she finds that the book
that she intended to study was not lost, but actually discretely hidden by her
husband. All those emotions put together, would still not do justice to the
feelings in my mind about missing this match. Yes, I’m a football guy, through
and through. Some say, while making sacrifices, the feeling is sweet. This
sucked out right. But I went ahead. And then, there is the biggest deception of
all time, one that we fall prey to, despite having experience prior. I would
say that this is the ‘Mother of all hopes’, the only reason why you decide to
bear the tortures of Indian transportation, the eternal belief that the seat
next to you would be occupied by a Bipasha Basu or a Katrina Kaif. It has never
happened to any Indian before, yet we hope and dream. But as you already know,
this dream of mine was also squashed. The guy next to me, like always, took
most of the seat and started scouring the newspaper. That meant, like an umbrella,
he unfurled himself, pushing me into a retreat into the domains of my study
paranoid wife. As the din of her reading became intolerable, I risked venturing
back, to reclaim my lost space. The guy had dozed off and this allowed me to
reassert myself. As I enjoyed the sight of him drooling, I began to hear a
peculiar Beep coming from his stomach. Perplexed, I listened intently. On
further observation, I noticed a plastic cover wedged between his thighs and
the seat. The cover bore a Biriyani packet. Now, you guys might question how I
concluded it was a Biriyani packet? Well, having been living in the land of Biriyani
for quite some years, I have a good knowledge on these things. I'm a kind of
expert and you do not question the experts, do you? Anyway, the guy had a Biriyani
packet with a beep sound emanating from it. Now, you needn't be an expert to
see the anomaly here. A beeping Biriyani? As I tried to convey this turn of
developments to my better half, she gave me the standard advice of “you having
nothing to study does not mean I don't have” and went back to her books. Ok. So
this guy has something fishy in his Biriyani( Fish Biriyani??:P). As the beep
continued ceremoniously, I considered my options. I could complaint to the TTE (Train
Ticket Examiner) about this suspicious character, but as the above mentioned
was an endangered species in the Indian railways, I had to abandon that quest.
I soon realized it was up to me to save the day.
As an expert in non combat, I
decided to observe him further. His phone suddenly rang and he spoke in some
mysterious language. Suddenly someone came and tapped his shoulder and he got
up. He took the packet with him. As my wife moved onto her third book (an unofficial
record, I guess), with my chief suspect on the loose, my mind refused to relax.
Maybe he received a call from his handler. The beep in the packet dint augur
well for anyone, but maybe, there was a change in plans and he had gone to get
updated. He took his time to return and I had just started to doze off, when he
seated himself aplomb with a suitcase in his hand. Hmmm. The plot thickened.
Maybe, the suitcase was filled with sharpnels for ‘Deep impact’(Im a movie buff
too:P). I began to become restless and wished I had never taken the journey.
The beep still came regularly, confirming my fears. The guy suddenly turned
towards me and asked," What time is it?" I quickly glanced to see
that he had a watch. "10.02 am", I replied. He looked into his watch
and confirmed. Of course, time was important for him. He was a pure
professional, even if it was blowing trains up. I knew for certain that these
were the last moments if my short 27 year life. I looked over to my wife who
was busy scouring for last minute points. I thought of sharing my thoughts with
her, but then decided, one has to do what one enjoys most in their last
moments. Studying was her purpose of life, but still I couldn’t stop smiling at
the irony, studying for an exam that she probably wouldn’t write. I briefly
thought about my parents, brother , my close ones and slipped on my Nokia Lumia
headset( I do not brag :P). Bryan Adams was blasting into his hit song "Heaven"
, when I felt a movement beside me. It was a sudden, yet subtle movement. The
movement of a man, who was in a hurry, yet dint, want to be noticed. I ever so
slightly opened my eyes and saw my terror man, move forward in the compartment,
with suitcase in his hand. He seemed to move with purpose. I grimaced. Here was
my final moment, along with mine, the final moments of thousand unlucky ones
who decided to travel on this fateful day. But they dint know, while I knew
what was going to happen. Even my wife’s hand was intertwined in mine, she
being fast asleep. I thought of all the happy memories I had in life. I quickly
relived the whirlwind Sachin innings at Sharjah decimating Australia. Liverpool
lifting the Champions league flashed in front of me. Minutes began to tick by.
Suddenly, my wife started shaking
me...”Why are you all sweating? Whats the matter?" , she asked with
genuine concern. I must have blacked out for a few moments cause the train had
stopped. I looked around. The tea vendor lazily asked me if I wanted banana
fry. Dreamily, I bought 5(my standard number). As I was into my second banana
fry, I looked out. In the station, just outside my window, stood my terror man.
He was swinging a child, throwing him up and down. The boy was laughing, a lady
next to him was holding onto his arm, dearly. My hitherto terror man, cold and
calculated , turned into this stereotype Mallu father, a typical family man.
As the train slowly moved on, I
saw him take out the Biriyani packet and hand it over to his son, who took it
excitedly. As the train left the station, I could see all 3 of them walking
hand in hand. I was dazed. I had finished my 5
fries and still felt empty inside. Maybe, it was the guilt. Beep. The sound returned. As I
meaninglessly stared ahead, my wife (who had started her 6th book) absently
commented, " For heaven’s sake, please adjust the folding tray beside you.
It’s been a nuisance since the start". "Nuisance??” I asked. “If you
mean the beep..." She cut my sentence half way
through. “Squeak. That's how we call it", she said. And that it was. A squeak
sponsored by the Indian Railways, thanks to a loose folding food tray in my
adjacent seat. I wedged a tissue paper into the lock of the tray and the beep (or
the squeak as my wife says) stopped. The rest of the journey remained
uneventful...
The day was early, with hens still roosting. Palunni,the milk
boy was pedalling down hill, to reach the village of Kudilthode. The windy
downhills were notorious for its dacoits and ghost sightings. As Palunni
negotiated a curve, Bam in front of him, at a distance, he noticed something
eerie. Palunni has had his share of tete-a-tete with dacoits and ghosts to know
that it was none of those. As he strained to see through the fog, he could make
out that it was a strange creature, with the body of an overgrown chicken and
the head like a snake, slender, with a prominent beak. It was standing still,
unblinking.
“ Oh gods, curse me if that is not something unearthly”, muttered Palunni
Palunni descended from his cycle and stealthily moved
forward. The strange creature was still standing still, unblinking.
“ Must be my head..No creature can stay that long without moving”, thought
Palunni
As he reached within touching distance,he was awed by the size of this creature,
which looked birdlike, except for its ridiculous size and lack of wings.
Suddenly, the ghastly creature opened its mouth and said “Cluck”
A small sound, but nevertheless it froze Palunni’s heart.
The last thing he had expected was a “Cluck” from this gigantic monster.
He turned back, with a silent scream, for he dared not
disturb the creature and ran for his life, leaving his bicycle behind.
Chapter 2: The news
Kudilthode is normally a very laidback village. Its residents are usually happy
basking in the sun, with a spot of tea and plenty of politics to gossip about.
But today there was total chaos. Pandemonium reigned. The
story, which had slowly seeped into the village, early morning, was spreading
like a wildfire, mid-afternoon.
The entire supply route into the village was blocked
following the sighting of a dastardly being by the milk boy.
As the story
passed from one slandering tongue into another, so did the creature grow. The
current version of the story (a local legend, already) being passed on by
Karthu to Dakhshayani had an addition that the creature could stare you and
drive you mad.
“My, my..That is scary”, said Dakshayani, when Karthu
finished her enactment of the cold stare.
“Its not just scary. Look at poor Palunni. He is now down
with fever and is delirious. All he is muttering is a weird sound”
“Roja told me that the voice of this being is so hideous and
loud, that she woke from her sleep, thinking she heard the devil”, added
Kunjulakshmi
A council was called at the house of Devendra Prabhu, a man
with immense riches, who usually had the final say in such matters.
“ So what you are saying, Ali Moidu, is that this is a gin,
a shaitan, and that we should all drive it away. A very poignant point, but alas,
we know nothing about its current whereabouts. Chacko, my trusted deputee was
sent to locate it and he has returned emptyhanded”, said Devendra Prabhu
“ There were trackmarks, but it kept going everywhere. I
began to feel giddy following it”, remarked Chacko
Trackmarks as seen by Chacko(any resemblance to any other trackmarks is
purely regeretted)
There was a unanimous hush upon hearing this. The creature
was as tricky as a fox, if only, more.
Suddenly Jayan rushed into the scene
“Its there..the
creature..in my backyard..i just caught it”
The entire crowd followed him.
Chapter 3: The Unveiling
The entire council was in Jayan’s backyard. The scene of the
Creature head stuck inside a chicken coop with rest of its body outside did not
soothe anybody. Nor did anyone laugh. For, this creature was as tricky as the
fox, or even more(as duly noted before). What to do next, was a question that
even the revered Devendra Prabhu had no clue, whatsoever.
“Well, Its best if Jayan himself releases it”, suggested
Chacko
“And what if it turns back and attacks us? Oh Jayan, what a
mess you have made. You shouldn’t have captured it” said Ravi
“Well, by the look of things, it seems as if the creature
itself got entangled in the coop while trying to feed..Afterall, there is some
chicken feed in the coop”, said Communist Raghavan
“Damn you Raghavan. Don’t you see the evil the creature
posseses. It was trying to eat the chicken alive. I had to risk my life,
trapping it”, said Jayan in an annoyed tone
“Well..the only logical solution is to open the door of the
coop and make it free. If this is an avatar of Kalki, then we are doomed.
Destiny awaits us” remarked Devendra Prabhu
While the entire council was busy arguing on who had to open
the door, Jimmy, Jayan’s dog, could no longer hold his curiosity and decided to
put his head into the coop to have a better look at the creature.
Jimmy the curious dog
The door of the coop opened and the creature withdrew its serpentine
head.
The council, who were huddled in their discussion did not
know what was upon them, till they heard the terrible “Cluck” sound behind
them.
“The devil is upon us”, they cried in unison as they made a
quick getaway.
The creature stood there staring at them, unblinking.
Chapter 4: The Decision
The council had reassembled in Devendra Prabhu’s courtyard.
Many reported sickness, as if some cold had seeped into their very bones. Two
of them, in the melee, had deep gashes on their head, following a fall, in the
act of escaping.
“These are dark times" mused Devendra Prabhu
“Well im glad that im still in one piece. I can still feel
its breath on my back”, exclaimed Ali, shivering with fear
An
artist’s interpretation: Ali shivering with fear
“I’ll better call my wife and ask her to stay indoors with
little Nandu. Poor Jimmy, I fear for him” said Jayan
As Jayan was busy talking to his wife over phone, Communist
Raghavan said “Im still surprised that all of you are shivering. It is no gin
or shaitan. Its just some lost creature”
Suddenly Jayan rushed back into the scene
“Nothing to worry guys. Its nothing extraterrestrial or out of the ordinary.
Its an Emu. Nandu just recognized it. From Discovery channel.”
“Emu?? Whats that? Are we gonna rest our fate based on the
judgement of a 10 year old?”, asked Ravi
“Emu is a bird. From Australia. And for your information, it
just laid an egg too”
“Even snakes lay egg. In fact, there are many heidious
creaturesthat I know that lays eggs”, challenged Ali
“The question is, even if this is Emu, how did it reach here
all the way from Ausrtralia? It dint have any wing like things, if I recollect”
asked Devendra Prabhu
“That’s why I said it is no Enimoose or whatever you call
it. It’s a gin, Shaitan, continued Ali
“Well, only one thing to do. I’ll go and lure it to the
compound of my party office. Only we lot seem to be rational here. I’ll keep it
in a cage and let me and my comrades keep it under guard till we come with any
other plan” suggested Communist Raghavan, who had a twinkle in his eye, the same
twinkle as the one hehas when he senses
a politically suave move.
“Ok, then it is decided. But how you lure it, I have no
idea. Until its behind the bars, let all family keep caution” declared Devendra
Prabhu
The council began to disperse, deep in their own thoughts.
Chapter 5: The Bail
The Emu had been captive for 3 days. It had got its regular
supply of chicken feed which the Comrades soon realised it had a weakness for.
Paalunni had recovered from his delirious fever, which the doctor diagnosed as
a case of Meningitis, having nothing to do with his sighting of the Emu. Even
those who got terrible gashes on their head, admitted sheepishly that they may
have been a bit harsh in attributing them to the Emu, when it was a case of
tripping down and hurting oneself.
The beneficiary from all this fiasco was
Communist Raghavan, who, as you might remember had a twinkle in his eyes
erstwhile volunteering to be responsible for the Emu. His party, which was an
often ignored one, now began to be known as the one that saved the village.
Their party house began to be known as the “Emu House” and their party became a
trending topic among the villagers, who, as you might remember, liked to
gossip.
Proposed
Party Logo
Communist Raghavan began to become a powerful figure. He
floated a new party with Emu as his mascot. People all agreed that the Emu had
indeed been a decent prisoner making no troubles whatsoever, except for the
occasional “clucking”, which was in itself, very sweet to hear.
The issue was raised in the council and Devendra Prabhu
decided to grant the Emu 3 days of bail. Communist Raghavan was not very happy
with this decision and termed it as a politically biased one, as he felt he
would lose his monopoly over the Emu. Nevertheless, he assigned Ravi to always
follow the Emu, as it was still his responsibility.
With Ravi following the Emu, the Emu enjoyed its first day
of freedom. It stepped out of the cage and if it was not for Ravi who had to go
to places, the Emu would have stood beside the cage, unblinking. So, the Emu
was spotted near the paddy field, near the bank of the river where women
bathed, near the Toddy shop and even made a surprise appearance outside
Dakshayani’s house in the midnight, who(much to his surprise!!) came with Jayan
outside, following a knock on the door.
Three days passed and the Council met again to determine the
Emu’s future. The village wide stroll that the Emu made in the three days
convinced the people that the Emu had a higher purpose, it was their guardian,
looking over their proceedings. It was declared that the Emu would now on have
unprecedented freedom in the village (though Communist Raghavan reiterated that
he was the one who had saved the village initially and that he still headed the
party whose mascot was the Emu and that the people owed him their votes)
And so, the legend of the Emu was born, which every mother
would recite to their children, generation after generation.
Chapter 6: The Missing
The village of Kudilthode (as you might remember was a laid
back village) went back to its old ways. Peace reigned in an era which
historians later defined as the “Era of the Emu”.
It was in such a peace that
out of the blue, one day, the Emu went missing. Men jumped out of their jolly
tea-drinking. Women stopped gossiping. All were concerned as a palpable tension
gripped the village.
The Council which met could not make heads or tails of
what happened. It was in such a dark time that Ali coughed bad causing Devendra
Prabhu to remark, “Im sorry Ali. Alas, Chacko has left my service since
yesterday, else I could have offered you some hot tea for your cough”.
Suddenly
Communist Raghavan shouted out, “I can bet my holy Emu, if he hasn’t taken the
Emu with him!!”
“He always had a suspicious look”, recollected Ali
A Pic of Chako
during his hay days
“Where do you think he has gone?” asked Devendra Prabhu
“Well, he did say to me he had a job for me and it would
involve transporting something to the town. But he never came to me”,said Ravi
“Damn me..He’s going to float a new party”, shouted Communist
Raghavan
“He’s stolen our grace, our pride”, lamented Ali
“Poor Emu. He must be missing me”,cried Ravi
“I only see one solution. Go to the town and free the poor
thing”, said Devendra Prabhu
“Off we go, then. Come on lads, we got an Emu to save”,
declared Communist Raghavan, who again had a twinkle in his eyes, which by now,
you all know, what it means.
Chapter 7 : The Charge
It took another 3 days for the village “Strike team” (as
they called themselves) to locate Chako. It was not an easy mission and it had
its toll. Many of the strike team members were on their first ever visit to the
Town and got lost in its vices. Ravi made frequent escapades from the council
meeting held, and often came back with offensive odours. Nonethelesss, the core
of the strike team ,led by the revered Devendra Prabhu, held true to their
purpose. They had conclusive proof that Chacko had a butcher shop in the town
and soon narrowed down its premises. They send Ali in the disguise of a
beggar(a low cost investment, if you know what I mean), who came back with the
report that Chacko had indeed the Emu in captive, and that he refused to part
with it for charity.
Ali in disguise
“Well, this makes it tough. We have to be on the offensive. This calls for
struggle and bloodshed”, remarked Communist Raghavan, fist raised.
And thus, it was decided. On that fateful day, a band of few
villagers, who called themselves the “Strike team”, decided to risk their
lives, by charging over to Chacko’s butcher shop, together as one, and melt him
down with guilt for stealing, all for their beloved Emu.
And charge they did.
The communists, true to their nature formed a barricade and
demanded the shop to be shut down. Devendra Prabhu was involved in a verbal
duel with Chako, with matters ranging from non settled domestic bills to the
stealing of the Emu. Ravi made occasional appearences, going and coming. But
when present, he would be decreasingly less sober and cry out love songs for
the Emu,in front of its cage. Ali, meanwhile, sticking true to his disguise,
which he still hadn’t removed, began nicking things from the shop. In this
spree, mistaking the Emu’s cage for a hidden vault, he opened. And there he
stood face to face with the legendary Emu.
“Cluck”, it said
Ali, feeling that the Emu had seen his lifting-spree,
dropped all his pilfering’s and ran out.
The door remained open.
Historians, to this date, have not understood what prompted
the Emu to act so, in the next 5 seconds
The Emu, the hitherto sedate one, the hitherto staring
unblinking one, in the blink of an eye, made a terrible bellowing and ran out
of the cage.
It was moment, etched in history forever, which later came
to be known as the “Prison Break: Flight of the Emu”, which was erroneous in itself, cause
the Emu, as noted before, dint have wings.
The erroneusly titled “Prison Break:Flight of the Emu”
But such was the way things spanned out that day that, the
Emu which made a dash outside, had to end up, smashed beneath a stray (Paandi)
lorry.
History always shows how great Empires
have fallen, how World leaders have fallen.
And so, the Emu made its exit, inglorious as it may be.
It was indeed a sad day.
Epilogue:
Life resumed in the peaceful village of Kudilthode. People
went back to their jolly tea-drinking and gossiping. Communist Raghavan went
back to his old party. Ali never ever pilfered anything. Devendra Prabhu got a
new deputee/help, sent by Chacko, who regretted his decision to leave his
service.
Things as you can see went on as before. But before the moon
faded, in the darkest of nights, every mother recited the tale of the Divine
Emu, which had visited their village and turned their lives head over heels.
Every good thing has to come to an end..and so, the curtains have fallen on our dear old “spelling”.
Rust in peas!!! :)
Just have a look around you, at all the sign boards and posters . A tactics that even Father of our nation could not devise, a strategy successfully plotted and implemented by the Billboard writers of our country, an eternal insult to the colonial rulers - pollute their language systematically. As masters of adulteration, the craze of developing HINGLISH has caught everyone’s imagination , especially the SMS babies!! The adulteration wing has many schools of thought: 1. Omit vowels. This helps to save space and at the same time conveys the message perfectly well.
2.Add extra vowels: This may have the effect of better emphasis.
(No entery. Rhymes with-Mesentery, dysentery)
3.Substitute the normal, logical letter with its closest relative: Helps to grab attention, a trick often used in our Hotel Menu cards.
4. Omit certain letters to make your product appear more appealing, a trick successfully used below:
(Now that’s what I call canned food!!!)
5. Make up your own words, and make it appear very normal.
(Undunating???!!!)
6. The best trick of all- Do Gibberish! Just write what you feel like and don’t even attempt to hide it!!
(I just love his creativity..Be aware of him!!!!)What a name and caption!!!
So, adios spelling. Adios normal, simple English. A request to our Bill board writers. Please cooperate with us. Or is it COORDINATE?
Just read this diary entery(wow, the new style is catching up!!):
He raised his head (in slow motion)..sweat dripped from his brow on to the dusty ground..(in slow motion)..He must have spotted an opening in the wall, cause there was a smile inhis lips..(in slow motion)..Time to die Henman, he thought..(Henman-the goalie)..his foot sweeps down majestically..(sorry, but in slow motion)..
Whoosh…………………………………………………..…………….
He dreamt of cheers all around..the ball brushing Henman’s fingertips..gracefully gliding to the top corner….
Reality- Groans from every where..Henman doesn’t even bother to look up, continues picking up stones of various sizes and shape from the ground, pursuing his rare hobby…
“OK Kuruvi..go fetch it..” commanded Jebi..
Kuruvi was still in his dream..he was being hugged by Jebi for winning the game in Injury time…
Injury time..
Jebi was violently shaking kuruvi who was rooted to the spot. “Go get the ball idiot..or youll have a sore butt..now!!”
It took a moment for Kuruvi to face the reality..a reality that by now had become the order of the day.Kuruviwas a destroyer from dead ball situations..balls were lost at the rate of knots..into the woods..into our unlucky neighbours bedroom..No one knew why he always stepped up for the free kicks..but the lemonade in his bag was good, so no one complained..But Jebi was an exception..A perfectionist, his hands knew all the spots where blood would leak in an instant, a handy knowledge that dint requirehim to bear Kuruvi’s ‘greater than thou’ air..he had direct access to the lemonade!!
Initial damage assessment : scouting report by JK Unni and TP (both with a receeding hairline, which has no relevance here, yet could not stop not mentioning it!!!)) revealed 2 casualties..Two hens were knocked out cold in the neighbours house, the direction acquired by extrapolating the path of the meteoric kick..that brought the poultry casualty list to 5 for the week..at this rate, we would soon have to be veggies..good for Conda..
“ok..2 dead chicks..and a lost football..”,commentedChatti . “I’ll get the chicks..you get the ball” he added..(Chatti was a master with the art of reviving ‘chicks’..resucitation was his best tool..hmm..)
Kuruvi decided to take the neighbor head on..afterall, he was the one who had the lemonade..
“Madam, did you see our football? It accidently rolled over here”. Kuruvi politely spoke.
“Huh? What ball? I no see ball. But you nasty boys killed my chicken yesterday..i complaint to principal about you nasty boys if one more of my chicken dies..” bellowed the lady.
In his peripheral vision, Kuruvi saw Chatti rushing out with bulging pockets and two chicken heads projecting from them outside..So,the resuscitation failed..
“What chicken madam? I have no idea..”, tried Kuruvi, feigning ignorance,while his mind was starting to panic..
“We poor people..you kill my chickens, no eggs for me…understand?”
“I have good lemonade in my bag.i could give you some, probably..” said Kuruvi trying to express his sympathy over the recent poultry killing..
“Lemonh no good..Chicken eggs give money..”, she continued..
Meanwhile, others had slowly entered the field, as if it was the most natural thing to do, trying not to be too visible to the lady,yet frantically searching for the lost ball.. It was almost time for the next class..the ball had to be found, or it was jogging behind the PT sir, who had a stamina value of thousand raised to infinity(how much ever that is..)
“Would you mind if I looked around”, asked Kuruvi, a question that had no relevance as the entire team was in the field, ofcourse, unobtrusively searching for the ball..
“Just leave my chickens alone..”, the lady replied retreating to her home.
“Man, it’s a football..itjust cant disappear”, concluded Porottaeesh”
“Secure the entire area..scan the area completely..give me a list of possible places..”, ordered Jebi.
“The vegetable field?...”
“Check..even uprooted some..no ball down there..”, replied JK Unni-TP team..
“The backyard?”
“Check…nothing there other than few tubs full of water..drained and checked..negative..”
“Good..where else??”, Jebi enquired..
“The chicken coop?”, Kuruvi suddenly asked..
“Lets go check there..atleast your head functions occasionally Kuruvi..”, rhetorted Jebi..
Soon the coop was raided..hens ran out,their short stint with freedom..soon, the entire coop was cleared, except for one unlucky victim of poultry stampede(toll:6 for the day) and another huge hen, which remained unmoved to all the commotion.
“Man, look at it..its sitting on a huge egg..”, observed Porotaeesh
“Must be the King Hen..”, suggested Kuruvi
“QUEEN HEN..”, corrected Chatti, who had recently returned back from the burial..
“What a huge Egg?? Ostrich?”,pondered Porottaeesh
Thats when it hit Golapan( a character who was there throughout the story, but the introvert type who doesn speak much)…
“That’s no egg. Thats our football..”, declared Golapan
Tears of joy and relief poured out of Kuruvi’s eyes..the hunt was over..now, he could finally have his lemonade..
“Umm..possible difficulty in acquiring target assessed”, reported JKUnni-TP team
“ok ok..I’ll get the ball..”, Jebi volunteered..the time for a hero had arised..
“umm.Queen chicken, would you mind giving our ball back..”, tried Jebi..
SYNTAX ERROR..NO DONUT FOR YOU.. The hen remained motionless..
“Dumb hen”..shouted Jebi, kicking the coop with all his energy, a move that had two consequence..
1.Jebi cut his leg
2.The hen startled, took to the air..one of those rare instances
The ball rolled out.Jebi held it high and gave the war cry..The sound of a predator with his prize kill..
Within minutes, the entire team left the field, which by now was a scene of disaster.
The possibility that the neighbor might hold them responsible for destruction of property and loss of her livelyhood did not even occur to them..
The possibility that by now physics class would have been halfway through ,with only girls in the class did not bother them..
Jebi did not even notice he had a cut on his leg,a nasty one that was bleeding profusely…
